You are perhaps aware of the World Wrestling Federation's annual event, the Royal Rumble. This is where 30 pro wrestlers each draw a number (1-30) from a hat.  This is the order that they come into the ring. Every minute, another wrestler is allowed to enter the ring, according to the number they drew. The Royalty Rumble is like that, but with lead singers from various bands. The winner gets 1% of the royalties that the losers make in the year between Royalty Rumbles. I, personally, would love to see the lead singers of the Offspring, Type O Negative, Korn, Limp Bizkit, and NIN duking it out in a no-holds-barred evening of all out mayhem. You could also carry this idea over to other professions and organizations, such as the US Senate, the NRA, and/or the professors at Georgia Tech. You get the idea.

OK, what are the two things that every self-respecting college student uses in large quantities? Caffine and alcohol. Now, if you combine the two into caffinated beer, then the student gets the best of both worlds at once! The best part is, the caffine keeps the customers from passing out from alcohol consumption, so they're awake longer. What will they do with all this extra time? Drink more caffinated beer, of course! Later, we could move into producing caffinated gin and caffinated tequila.

How many times could you use this? You're at a concert or walking down a dark alley and then BOOM, you find yourself in need of a shovel to beat people with. You whip out this object that looks more or less like one of those little collapsible umbrellas and press a little button and then......click, snick, clank, fump! You have a full sized shovel perfect for gratuitous violence.

So as soon as I can, I'm going to run for SGA president under the 'Scum of the Earth' ticket. Basically, you have all these leadership geeks running for office, trying to appeal to people like THEM. That accounts for about 20% of campus. The other 80% doesn't really vote. I can appeal to the other 80% by promising them chaos, corruption, and scandal. They'll vote for me JUST to piss off the middle management leadership geeks. It's in the BAG. I ultimately plan to get thrown out of office in a scandal. ;)

Ever been to a party with REALLY bad music? A DJ hooked on Master P or maybe just a really bad C&W cover band? Just call the Metallica Hotline! James Hetfeild himself picks up the phone, hears your sob story, then brings the boys over to where you are in an unmarked black helicopter. Upon arrival, they beat the offenders senseless, drink beer, mack on the ladies, play righteous rock, and perform other Metallica-like activities.

So we all know Johnson & Johnson's famous "No More Tears" Children's shampoo. They advertise it by having small children wipe suds from their eyes and saying, "See, no more tears!" I plan on marketing Ronson & Ronson brand 'Oh my sweet fuckin' Jesus it burns!' shampoo. The name explains everything, I think.